General advice about caring for your new puppy or dog

There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Army had half a day. That’s why you always leave a note!

Exit Strategy

There’s so many poorly chosen words in that sentence. First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time!

• Marry me.
• Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right.
• I care deeply for nature.

Amigos

No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. I’ve opened a door here that I regret. I care deeply for nature.

Pier Pressure

Oh, you’re gonna be in a coma, all right. I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it. Not tricks, Michael, illusions. Across from where? Well, what do you expect, mother? No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer’s questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide.

1. That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’
2. Well, what do you expect, mother?
3. Marry me.
4. It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life.
5. Steve Holt!

Ready, Aim, Marry Me

What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” That’s what it said on ‘Ask Jeeves.’ Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast. No… but I’d like to be asked! Really? Did nothing cancel? But I bought a yearbook ad from you, doesn’t that mean anything anymore?

Afternoon delight

We just call it a sausage. I’ve opened a door here that I regret. Marry me. No… but I’d like to be asked!